On My Home Planet

I have an opinion about everything, and here it is for the world to see.

Hating on: morons, self-righteous political extremists, the man-and-baby-hating strain of feminism, CraigsList, yuppies, careerists, white liberal guilt, people devoid of any sense of morals or personal responsbility, and other generally clueless and misguided types who continually piss me off.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

I wanna play!

I want to add to the Banned Books List.

Why or how the freak my childhood favorites James and the Giant Peach (adventures of a little boy and his insect friends), How to Eat Fried Worms (boy stands up to bully), A Wrinkle in Time (this Lutheran minister I know sees Christian themes woven throughout, but a cool intergalactic adventure nonetheless), and The Pigman (I could understand My Darling, My Hamburger being on that list, but seriously, you canNOT hate Paul Zindel!) got on the list is beyond me. Many of them won Newberry and Caldecott medals too, so my literary taste can't be that bad. I'm sure The Cat in The Hat, Chronicles of Narnia, Superfudge, the Ramona books, and Pat the Bunny will follow though.

But anyway, my additions are:

Bartleby the Scrivener
Les Miserables
Everything by Shakespeare and Herman Melville
Oedipus Rex
The Old Man and The Sea
Killer Angels
Canterbury Tales and everything else that was left in "Olde English"

See, I found them so boring that they offended me. When I was in high school, I'd rather have gouged my eyes out than read them. I never understood the value of universally-acknowledged shitty books in the classroom.

And even though I'm not even pregnant, I'm afraid that when I do have children, they'll get their hands on one of these books and never want to read or go to school again, thus becoming vidiots who live in my basement masturbating to anime porn and smoking weed till they're 60. Therefore, there is a clear link between Shakespeare, sexual deviancy, and recreational drug use.

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4 Comments:

At 6:25 AM, Blogger Wiwille thinks I'm the coolest...

While I agree with most I actually do like Shakespeare. That makes me kind of girly doesn't it?

Time to crack open some dark beer and get some masculine intervention on.

 
At 3:16 PM, Blogger Ibid thinks I'm the coolest...

Yeah, Chronicles of Narnia, with all it's talking animals, causes trouble for lots of Christian book burners. For one thing it's full of talking animals which are ungodly. On the otherhand it's a horribly blatant Biblical allegory.

Personally, I love the books since they are so great for taunting the more fundamentalist Christians. >:)

 
At 6:59 PM, Blogger class-factotum thinks I'm the coolest...

"A Wrinkle in Time" is one of my all-time favorites. It is a Christian allegory, about the power of love to overcome totalitarianism and communism. L'Engle writes a lot of Christian lit -- or at least allegory.

"Narnia" shouldn't be a problem for Christians -- it was written by CS Lewis, for crying out loud!

Give "Les Miserables" another chance. Sometimes these books improve with age. I don't know how it happens. I hated "Great Expectations" in 9th grade, but re-read it as a sophomore in college and couldn't put it down. I was sure it was a completely different book. And "Les Miserables" is soooooo good!

 
At 3:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous thinks I'm the coolest...

No, No it's not. I tried Les Mis in the original french even, but sadly put it down in chapter 5 with 30 page discription of the state of the sewers system. There was just too much minutia.

 

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