Open Letter to those who entertain me

Now that the parents are home safe and accounted for, I can return to getting my thong in a bunch over petty crap once again.

Such as books and TV.

Bitch the first: How F*CKING long is it going to take for Freakonomics to come ou in paperback? It's been out for close to a year. Seriously, I don't spring for hardbacks, so the publishing industry needs to start printing paperbacks specifically to accomodate me and my wishes.

Bitch the second: Is there a reason that every single bookstore within a 10 mile radius of my work and home is only carrying the first and third books in the "Uglies" trilogy? I breezed through Uglies in a day and a half (would've been a day if I still had the energy to not sleep like I did in college, sad that I can feel how I've aged in a lousy half-decade) and now I can't find Pretties anywhere! And no, ordering off Amazon isn't an option, I want it right this second and I don't want to have to pay shipping. And effing put Specials in paperback already, GOSH!

Bitch the third: The Cartoon network needs to start putting the Dr. Tran cartoons back on the air, and only air Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends episodes that feature Cheese. If two of your "obscure ad campagin" billboards feature Cheeseisms, then he's obviously the funniest character ever created and you need to put him on your show more often cause it's lame-o without him. And for Cripes' sake, put Family Guy on during normal waking hours. Cause Toomuchcoffeelady said so. (And internets, no comments about me needing to buy a Tivo or peeps in their mid-20s being too old for cartoons. I will hear none of that!)

My life will be so much easier once the world realizes it's all about me.