Why you are still single...

Because your pickup lines suck!

Wanna see my room?

You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my whole fucking life.

Are you European? You look European... maybe did someone in your family come from Europe? (note: I am unmistakably Caucasian)

It's not that I'm looking for a greencard... it's just that I didn't believe in love until I saw you.

Hey, you in the sexy red backpack!

Can I read your palm? (from a clean-cut preppie type)

(In response to my telling him to go to hell) But heaven's right here, baby.

Dude: "I'll wake you up in time to go to confession tomorrow..."
Me: "No thanks, I don't sin."
Dude: "Oh, but the night is young, and we could sin at my house."
(And my beloved late grandfather used to question why I can't seem to find a nice Catholic guy)

Do you play sports?

Hey, Blondie! Let's f*ck!

When we were in 6th grade, I had a wet dream about you.

So, like, you like went to Catholic school? (huh huh heh heh) So, like, did you wear a uniform? Do you still have it? (huh huh heh heh) Did the nuns, like smack you when you were bad? (huh huh heh heh)

I have actually heard all of these, and the older I get, the more pathetic of lines I seem to hear. For these guys' sake, I hope they never run out of Kleenex.

On the upside though, crap like this stops the spread of STDs.