If you're not even engaged yet...
... then WTF are you doing on TheKnot? Apparently, there are discussion forums for those of you planning your wedding possibly ages before your guy is even thinking of marriage and/or before you may have even met said guy, or insulting us engaged women by asking us how we "conned" our fiances into proposing.
Um. Is it humanly possible that we were proposed to on our own merit? Sure, many of us were probably ready before our fiances and husbands were, and in fact these men may know deep down that we deserve nothing less and marriage/kids/house/SUV/etc are the only way to keep us.
And these women may also, be deserving of nothing less.... but it's a little hard to keep that in mind when you read:
"Hi, I'm 19 and been with my man for 3 months. He hasn't even brought up marriage yet. I'm sooo annoyed because I've been planning my wedding for four years now and I need to get married on 7/7/07, have been dreaming of it since kindergarden. Ladies, how did you make your men propose???"
"I met my BF in grad school and have been with him 16 years, lived together 14... He has never brought up the subject of marriage, why hasn't he? Should I trap him, I assume that's how you all got your fiances and husbands? Speaking of which, I'm in my mid-40s... that isn't too late to have a healthy baby is it?"
Honestly, you have no business planning your wedding or hanging out on a wedding website before you get the ring on your finger. You just aren't. And if you do decide to hang out on TheKnot before you're engaed... be understanding when you become a big fat joke. You look pathetic. I wouldn't wish being unmarried on my worst enemy. But... no matter when you meet Mr. Right or how many frogs you kiss first, a marriage is something you have to earn and continue to work at. There are many nice/normal "knotties" who are just freakin appalled by this stuff, and joke to make you and your brand of psychosis less frightening.
Now I'm not condoning the self-righteousness of some of the engaged and married women on there or in the real world at all... Not everyone who's reached their mid-20s and not found a husband is in her predicament because she's a bar-hopping, disease ridden slut, as some of these "knotties" claim. There are such things as being unlucky in love, having to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince, still getting your self/career situated in your 20s and preferring to do that on your own, etc, that happen and that people shouldn't be judged for. But reading pages and pages of crap like what's posted above, and it's easy to see how some of these "Ring on My Finger Club" ladies feel so smug and superior - Holy stereotype, you make all single women look psycho and desperate by writing crap like this.
Update (for my male readers' peace of mind): No! Not all women are like these psychos on the Knot... 99% of women do NOT start planning their weddings before they hit puberty, and 99.9repeating% of us would NEVER trap a guy. Only the morally bankrupt and desperate do that. Geez! Although Ibid, your reaction is the exact proof of my point that a very few bad seeds are perpetuating these horrific stereotypes about all womenkind. Although seriously, only a moron wouldn't notice if their girlfriend had poked a bunch of holes in a condom.)
Labels: Marrieds vs Singles War
TooMuchCoffeeLady told you how it is @ 8:31 AM
7 Comments:
Part of why I got snipped was because of stories like these.
"Oops. I don't know how the condom got all those holes in it."
"Oops. I didn't know I was supposed to eat the birth control pills instead of flushing them."
Well you're not Oopsing me!
Unfortunately, Baby Rabies is an all too common condition. Whether married or not someone, male or female, who contracts this tragic psychological condition will do damn near anything to anyone if they think it will help them have a baby. They become truely pathological about it.
Radical hormone therapies are available to couples who really, really, really want a baby. But I feel sorry for those couples where she wants a kid and he doesn't. His only real protection is a vasectomy and DNA testing. In some states even that's not enough.
And my cry of "You're not oopsing me!" was directed at the universe, not you. My comment was made based almost completely on the word "Trap" in one of your examples.
Ibid, haha, I didn't think that "oops" comment was directed at me. Hells yeah *I'm* not oopsing you, I wouldn't cheat on - or otherwise hurt - Mr. TMCL for the world.
Re: the married couples split on having children - that's what you sort out before you even date someone exclusively. Although if I had a dollar for every one of you procreation-haters I had to weed out while I was still dating, I'd be able to buy the entire state I live in. I kind of never got the memo that if a woman wants to be a wife and mom someday, that she's not supposed to go to an Ivy League school or subsequently get a good job and support themselves like an adult (I guess I was supposed to just be homeless till I met Mr. TMCL?), and that really used to confuse a lot of people.
But come on, Clomid, Progesterone supplements, IVF, etc are not "radical", they're much more common and less side-effects-laced than people think. And since women who start having children late in life and/or never have them at all are at an exponentially increased risk for several quick-killing gynecological cancers, I'd say fertility treatment is actually a pretty good thing. ;-)
"I met my BF in grad school and have been with him 16 years, lived together 14... He has never brought up the subject of marriage, why hasn't he?"
Hello!! Did you not listen to your mother? Why buy the cow, etc, etc? Move out. Move out today. If you want the guy to marry you (although I don't know why you want this guy because he hasn't valued you enough in the past 16 years to propose so does he really love you?) then you need to change your strategy. You might think you're all liberated and everything, but human nature has not changed in the past, oh, gajillion years.
Move. Out.
Oh dear God. I know women like that. So many women. I am one of those mid-20s gals who is kissing a lot of frogs right now...but doesn't mind too much because it's kind of fun. My married friends now envy me a little. I get to do some mighty fun things.
LOL. You are so hilarious, but right on. I think you need to write a blog about the crazies on that other website we frequent.
~W t P
WTP - is there enough room in all of cyberspace for my soon to be fat divorced single mom rantings?
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