On My Home Planet

I have an opinion about everything, and here it is for the world to see.

Hating on: morons, self-righteous political extremists, the man-and-baby-hating strain of feminism, CraigsList, yuppies, careerists, white liberal guilt, people devoid of any sense of morals or personal responsbility, and other generally clueless and misguided types who continually piss me off.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Obsession

There has got to be a name for the syndrome by which the scorned wife starts feeling affection toward her husband's mistress. I'm taking an active role in decorating an entire story of our house (the "mancave") in homage to her. I sometimes go to see her with my husband, and have been known to spring for pizza for the occasion. I am even helping him save to buy a ridiculously high-end electronic device so that he can communicate with her more often.

Bonus: by having this device, he will establish once and for all amongst the neighbors that he DOES have the largest penis in the subdivision.

I guess she's not such terrible person. She's very ambitious and makes buttloads of money (not that she shares with us). We have the same favorite color (blue). I only have to compete with her 4 months out of the year, and mostly then just on Saturdays. It's only in her company that my husband and his evil sociopath of a brother could get along before my husband ended the world by marrying me.

And to be fair, my husband's love affair is practically guaranteed never result in my getting an STD, not to mention he will never get her pregnant (largely because they don't have sex... although I'm sure the thought could cross his mind if it were physically possible; she's supposed to have a hottt pussy). Maybe because of her crotchety but notoriously endearing old Brooklyn-Italian father.

She is Penn State football, and he is obsessed.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

Scholars of TMCL quote:

Create a Link

<< Home