When your coughing fits last 5 minutes or more

GO THE HELL HOME. Lady with SARS or Bird Flu a couple cubicles over, this means you!

If you are sitting on this floor, you are either in accounting, payroll, or benefits administration. That means that nobody is going to die if you take your laptop and work from home, or if you even go all crazy and take a sick day.

But seriously, with the exception of maybe 3 people, everyone here is either pregnant, has small children at home, has elderly parents living at home, has health issues of their own, or some combo. The rest of us just don't want to listen to you hacking up a lung. It's grossing us out.

BTW, you are not some martyr, hero, or dedicated employee for staying here in this condition... you obviously have no common sense and/or no problem exposing other people to your virus in a misguided attempt to suck up to your boss. It's irresponsible, selfish, and stupid.

And because of your spreading your germs, other people are going to get themselves or someone in their home very sick, and because unlike you they respect themselves and others, they are going to have to use sick days or even FMLA, because you were sharing the wealth. So your being the hero and getting the firm 15 extra hours' productivity... has seriously backfired.

If you want to work somewhere where facetime is more important than your own and other people's health, go work in management consulting.