On My Home Planet

I have an opinion about everything, and here it is for the world to see.

Hating on: morons, self-righteous political extremists, the man-and-baby-hating strain of feminism, CraigsList, yuppies, careerists, white liberal guilt, people devoid of any sense of morals or personal responsbility, and other generally clueless and misguided types who continually piss me off.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Come ON, Wonkette...

Honestly, it was pretty cool to see a link to my piddly little blog posted on such a staple of the blogosphere such as yours... But please, in the future when you quote someone... try to capture their message more accurately.

Some statements made by Ann Coulter really offended me, and contributed to a sneaking suspicion I have that she's actually a woman-hater (aka Feminazi, who these days also seem to hate most women, specifically those who have something going for them besides careers.) She minimized the grief of bereaved families. Distasteful. There is also a gap between what she practices and what she preaches. My post said just that.

There is a big difference between a woman-hater and a lesbian. Huge. One might even hope that, given that these are the people with whom they fall in love, lesbians hate other women less than straight women do. Unlike Ann Coulter, lesbians are getting married, adopting and having children, or fighting hard for the legal right to do so. Implying that someone is a lesbian because she is cruel to other women and publicly denigrates their marriages and families, is just plain ignorant. Obviously, that namecalling started with "Anonymous", but two wrongs don't make a right.

It's no wonder gays and lesbians are still unfairly treated like second-class citizens in this country, when they are constantly Satanized even by a more "progressive" forum such as Wonkette. Keeping a group of citizens down, especially for something that is biologically based, is only hurting society.

Further, Ani is bisexual, not a lesbian. Maybe you meant to say"has a lot of KD Lang records"?

Everyone - keep reading, commenting, and showing love. You rock! Just please don't use my blog to hate on gays and lesbians.


Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Does casual sex still look attractive?

So it seems that HIV infection in Liberal Yuppieland is out of control.

Really, is this any suprise? Many people here - of all races and sexual orientations - still think this is the 1970s. Just log onto the blogosphere, or go out on the town, or listen to twentysomethings recount their weekends in management consulting firms and government offices around the area, and it quickly becomes obvious - nobody here gives a flying fuck about their health. We're all entitled to free love (even those with infectious, incurable diseases) and damn anybody who wants more.


More CL fun...

Honestly, WTF is wrong with people?

Let me rewrite your ad for you buddy:

Sexual predator (40-something, fat, balding, and mastrubates to anime porn) so desperate for female company that I'm willing to have a "kept woman"/live in concubine as a "guest". There is a gym in the building, make sure you use it. If you don't let me see you naked whenever I want, I will charge you money to live with me. A small fraction of what you would pay to live elsewhere in a luxury high-rise right on Broadway, but enough for me to get a couple hours with a hooker nonetheless.

$650 - Female Roommate Wanted - Your own bedroom in 2 1/2 Bedroom apartment
Reply to:
Date: 2006-06-26, 7:47PM EDT
Furnished bedroom available in spacious 2 1/2 bedroom apartment. Doorman, high floor, city and sunset views, sunny, etc. Washer, dryer and dishwasher in the apartment. The apartment has good heat, is quiet for sleeping, has good air-conditioning, high speed internet and a spare computer for the roommate's use. It's an elevator building and there is a health club in the building. I'm looking for a female roommate who will occasionally not wear clothes when I ask in exchange for free rent. No sex whatsoever required. Otherwise the rent is $650/month, everything included. Bleeker Street at Broadway google map yahoo map
this is in or around Bleeker Street and Broadway

For the record, any guy who states "female roommate only" (aka, 90% of the men looking for roommates on CL) is categorically some socially inept pervert with a few sex offenses under his belt. In fact, if you're a "female roommate only" guy, you should just SAY, "I am expecting someone to cook and clean for me, and give me NSA sex on demand." Hello, get a wife if that's so critical to your existence.

WHY would anyone in their right mind would respond to this ad?!

When your coughing fits last 5 minutes or more

GO THE HELL HOME. Lady with SARS or Bird Flu a couple cubicles over, this means you!

If you are sitting on this floor, you are either in accounting, payroll, or benefits administration. That means that nobody is going to die if you take your laptop and work from home, or if you even go all crazy and take a sick day.

But seriously, with the exception of maybe 3 people, everyone here is either pregnant, has small children at home, has elderly parents living at home, has health issues of their own, or some combo. The rest of us just don't want to listen to you hacking up a lung. It's grossing us out.

BTW, you are not some martyr, hero, or dedicated employee for staying here in this condition... you obviously have no common sense and/or no problem exposing other people to your virus in a misguided attempt to suck up to your boss. It's irresponsible, selfish, and stupid.

And because of your spreading your germs, other people are going to get themselves or someone in their home very sick, and because unlike you they respect themselves and others, they are going to have to use sick days or even FMLA, because you were sharing the wealth. So your being the hero and getting the firm 15 extra hours' productivity... has seriously backfired.

If you want to work somewhere where facetime is more important than your own and other people's health, go work in management consulting.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Ann Coulter is a Closet Feminazi

Now, I am a conservative/rightwing type, but I don't think "Ms" Ann Coulter is the same.

Sure, a lot of what she has to say is very profound and something that people should really think about.

1) In her trashing of 9-11 widows, she used the
same "minimize the tradgedy of being widowed or divorced" bullshit argument that many anti-relationship liberal types do: "How do we know their husbands weren't planning to divorce them anyway?". Um, nice going, you sound like all the single, bitter, promiscuous, can't-stand-to-see-anyone-else-in-or-wanting-t0-be-in-a-happy-marriage liberals who annoy the crap out of me. Are you maybe jealous that despite being skinny and blonde, you can't seem to find a husband yourself?

2) She refers to herself as "Ms" despite her arguments that
"Ms" is a liberal construct. Conservative and proud, yet never married? Put your money where your mouth is lady, your title is Miss.

3) If she's so pro-family, pro-child, pro-life (an admirable position of course) why doesn't she live according to those principles, instead of modeling after the prototypical careerist feminazi? According to all the happily married people and many of the ultraconservatives I know, finding a loving spouse is a peice of cake. Esp if you're skinny and blonde.

Honestly, though, say shit like that about bereaved women and children, and you have effectively nullified any and all credibility the other points on your platform have.

Makes me wonder if she's a double agent for the liberals, a plant to make conservatives look heartless and crazy.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Fight to the Death for Fluff

Give me a freakin break.

I don't know who is stupider, a school for serving a sandwich made of peanut butter and pure processed sugar, or the Senator who not only sends his son to a Boston public school and doesn't make the maid or the cook pack the child a lunch, but puts a dispute he has with them into legislation, or the Rep who's lobbying to make the Fluffernutter the Official Sandwich of Massachusetts.

Listen up, you liberal efftards: Yours is the only state in the country losing population, your highway system is a mess, your housing costs are out of control, job market's not great, your public schools suck, and you are home to the largest drug port on the East Coast. You all have more important things to worry about than sandwiches.

Like being stuck in Liberal Yuppieland because you can't find a job in Boston.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Comcast SUCKS!

Seriously, they're living up to Cox's name.

Specifically, the buttheads pulled Comedy Central, Lifetime, the History Channel, Fox, as well as every other English-language channel that doesn't completely suck, off our cable package. It happened yesterday with no warning whatsoever.

We are left with two channels in English (home shopping network and the all-cop-show-all-the-time channel) and the rest are in Spanish, Korean, Russian, Arabic, and God knows what else. (Why does every lazy idiot who refuses to learn English feel compelled to move here?!) I am an American, for Pete's sake, you're lucky I speak two languages. I'm not going to learn 6 or 7 completely different ones just so I can veg, and neither is the Average Joe whose IQ is significantly lower than mine.

Let me be the first to point out that if they pulled the plug on Spanish-language programming, people would be crying "racist" and blocking the streets in mass protest.

It is time for three things:

1) Me to get a pay hike so I can afford
2) Satellite TV so I can boycott these jackass cable companies; and
3) This country to be English-only once and for all.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Me Next!

Welcome, traveller, to the Brave New World of the Planet Bell Jar.

Here, our society has no flaws, our people no faults. Yet a lot of life can still really suck here.

"How?", you ask. "If you society and your people are both intrinsically perfect, how do your lives manage to completely suck sometimes?"

Well... it's not that people are asshats, or that anything is wrong and needs to be fixed. Simply, every freaking personality flaw we have is the result of a disease. That's right. For example, we don't get "road rage" becase half the people from this country can't drive, nor because the highway infrastructure here is piss-poor and the public transportation options non-existent, nor because of macroeconomic and social problems that force people to spend a couple hours a day commuting. It's those damn neurochemicals betraying us again.

I'm just waiting for PC pseudopsychiatry to tell me and my loved ones that the fact that I'm a complete and utter bitch with the intelligence of a houseplant before my daily coffee, is in fact, due to a rare neurological disorder. Remember, it's not my fault I am addicted to caffeine - it's those godawful genes I inhereted from my (white male, and therefore inherently evil) father.


CNN seems to get it... kind of...

Why the hell is CNN paying attention to blogs?! I'd kind of figure this forum for amateur journalists (none of us as gifted or brilliant as the wonderful Christiane Amanpour et ali) would piss off the professional journalists more than anything.

But in the meantime... How interesting that we're all bitching about gas prices. is it because they're out of freaking control?! This is not Europe, and there is no reason for gas to be $3 a gallon. Why the hell is our government not listening?

And on the subject of gas... ever think of implementing a halfway decent public transportation system? What about sufficient highway infrastructure so we're not all trapped in our cars for hours on end in some bottleneck? What about puttting some controls on the housing market (or perhaps crime) so that people can afford and desire to live within 30 miles of their jobs?

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Had I only known finding a husband was this easy...

Yep, according to my dermatologist's secretary, a few small snips were all that have been standing between me and wedded bliss.* Let's hope bandages and scabs are considered more attractive than moles. At least for the next few weeks.

Um, scratch that, first let's hope the feeling returns to the right side of my head and neck sometime this week. I want to know why I wasn't given this "local" anastesia when I had my ears pierced. It would be nice during gyn visits as well.

BTW, what on earth does this say about that lady's perception of the male species?

*Not to disagree that looking one's best is always important, but jeez!!! Were two small moles seriously that ugly?

Monday, June 19, 2006

World Cup - Enough Already

re: the guys camped out in breakrooms across America, crowded around the TV for the last 3 weeks straight, watching endless rounds of this infernal soccer match:
- Is this fascination with soccer due to latent homosexual desires (soccer players are not exactly an unattractive lot) or are football and baseball being replaced as our national pastimes as this country goes more "sensitive" and "global"?

Discuss amongst yourselves. And move the hell out of my way, I need more coffee.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Don't let reality hurt people's feelings or anything...


So basically public health officials have found a relatively (not easy, but following millenia of traditions) simple way to make babies grow into healthier adults, and to reduce risks of SIDS, cancer, and other deadly infectious diseases in women and children, and sets out to let the public know. A public service, right? I mean, people want to know how to improve their and their offspring's quality of life, and how the hell else would, say, an accountant who got a B- in high school biology in the 1990s know about micronutrients, cell mutation, etc?

But then, what do people with MDs know? Smarter than these doctors is some idealistic liberal from a nonprofit. Instead of being grateful to the Dept of Health and Human Services,

"I'm concerned about the guilt that mothers will feel," said Ellen Galinsky, president of the center. "It's hard enough going back to work."
Well if they feel so guilty, they need to talk with their doctor about how to change the behavior. Or better yet, they should lobby employers in this country to either pay men enough so their wives can stay home, or to not make a woman's life impossible if she has to/chooses to be a working mom. But in the short term, it's not like we don't have laws in this country that say employers have to accomodate medical needs - in other words, present your anti-pump employer with the option of honoring your doctor's note or tangoing with your attorney. Open and shut case.

But for Pete sake. Scientific facts and hard data are just that. Breastfeeding is good for babies, advancing age is bad for fertility, never giving birth ups your chances of gynelogical cancers, women earn 76 cents on the dollar to men because more of us choose low-paying jobs, married people are physically/emotionally/financially healthier than their single counterparts, your dating pool is greatly diminished if you're unattractive, poor, or have a communicable disease, you really do need to know English to get by in the developed world, and condoms don't protect against all STDs. Life's a bitch like that.

If the truth hurts people's feelings, too freaking bad, but political correctness should NOT stand in the way of women knowing how to take care of their own and the next generation's health. When the hell did it become wrong to relay news and facts that happen to be not what some people want to hear?

And a shout-out to my own mom for keeping me diabetes-, SIDS-, etc free.


Sunday, June 11, 2006

Yuppieland County Police Sucks

Someone please explain to me...

How is it that if I were to spit at my hispanic neighbors and call them obnoxious ethnic slurs, I'd be in jail right now, but when they spit at me and yell obnoxious racial slurs, I'm told the remarks don't count as racist because they aren't said in English, and lectured about semantics of "deragatory vs racist" remarks?

If you call someone a rude name specifically based on the fact that they are WHITE (ie, you would sound like an idiot calling someone else that word because it refers specifically to white people)... you're being RACIST. End of story.

There is no translation in Spanish for "spic" or "wetback", so I guess if I were to go to, say, Puerto Rico and spit at people and call them those obscene names, then under US law, it's totally cool?

Friday, June 09, 2006

Why male friends rock

Thanks to Phil (aka 1/5 of the non-girlieman population of Liberal Yuppieland), who had the presence of mind to not only befriend me years ago at our internship, but also to order satellite TV, I get to see my favorite musician of all time live in concert from a few time zones away this weekend. I would never order satellite TV... no woman would. Sure, I'll totally spend the $50/month on highlights, manicures, etc, but I can't afford satellite TV.

That means for the price of 1/8 gallon of gas and whatever I bring to the party, I can see Jimmy semi-live and forget for a few hours that I live in a landlocked hellhole hours from the beach, all without risking a contact high.

Because, let's face it, potsmokers (ie, what liberals become when they don't have the wherewithal to get yuppie jobs and move out of their moms' basements) annoy the hell out of me.

You rock, Phil. And BTW - this makes enduring your endless couch jokes all worth it. Almost.

Corrupt government and further evidence that the US is becoming a third world toilet bowl

Last night the Senate inadvertently the real reason gas prices are so freaking insane:  it's not just OPEC's racist, anti-Judeo-Christian, anti-Western  (and BTW, racism is racism is racism no matter whom it's directed against; and calling it "reverse racism" or implying that only American WASPS are capable of being bigots is... well, patently racist in and of itself)  agenda and Big Oil's greed... it's the corrupt American government also.

So you have Alan Greenspan in to talk about the root cause of rising oil prices - Big Oil's been planning a bottleneck since the 70s, ie, seeing that a need for increased capacity was coming and patently refusing to put the infrastructure in place to accomodate that.  It's so noble to broadcast the Senate hearings on looking into Big Oil's spiralling profits and insane price increases, but what's the freaking point of even wasting anyone's time or breath discussing the matter when the government has no intention of doing anything about it?

The smirks and eyerolling on the faces of the Senators (nice job, morons, not even keeping a poker face on national TV, to maintain some facade of actually giving a crap about the American public's economic welfare!) said it all:  Price fixing and gouging have been happening for a long time, and there is not a damn thing Uncle Sam is going to do about it.  Why?  To obtain employment as a politician you need to be rich -  you need to have come from generations of money to have not only the connections to get yourself elected, but thte funds to run your campaign and to feed yourself and dress the part until you win.  How have the majority of the wealthy-for-generations become that way?  OIL MONEY.

That's right.  It's a direct conflict of interest for anyone in Washington to do anything to put a stop to something that is financially crippling a lot of American families.   Sure, we Americans tell ourselves that we're sooo lucky that our government isn't all corrupt like (fill in the blank with any country but a Western European one).  It's obviously not true, so we need to stop lying to ourselves and take our heads out of our asses... leaving more room for us to take it in the ass when we visit the pump.  

Friday, June 02, 2006

Race for the Cure

Best of luck to my girl, Mad Asian Lady, as she not only conquers the 5K Race for the Cure run tomorrow, but raises thousands of dollars for breast cancer research and earns herself a new Coach bag.

I iwll not be participating myself, but as a PSA, I wanted to spread awareness of some facts I learned there last year:

Being around even secondhand cigarette smoke increases your risk of cancer exponentially. Your friends who smoke around you are endangering you more than they are endangering themselves.

Having your first child after 30 or never giving birth at all increases your risk of all female cancers. So if you think your high stress job that leaves you no time for family or noncomittal asshole guy is killing you.... you're more right than you think.

Much of the reason breast cancer's so common in women: crap they put in our cosmetics, aka phletyates (sp) and parabens. They get absorbed through the skin and greatly your chances of getting cancer. Even companies like Clinique, who donate money to Susan G. Komen, use these chemicals. Take home message: buying really-higher-end beauty products may save your life.

Thinner women with bigger ( C cup +) boobs = fucked. Very high risk group.

Boob jobs also up your risk.

Vegetables and exercise are your friends. Duh.

Good luck tomorrow to Mad Asian Lady!!

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Publicity Stunts

What a weird-ass idea... I personally am hoping she goes for option three (aka rescue an innocent baby from the famine and HIV ridden hellhole that is Namibia) rather than join some freakish religion that's done more harm than good (Dune was a FICTIONAL book, you stupid losers!), gives some spoiled rich brat a free mani/pedi, or make a sex tape with some old hag nobody's ever heard of.

Sure, it's cheap to use a baby as a pawn in your publicity stunt, but it's good to see celebrities imitating each other when they do something positive that actually helps people. Blowing smoke from your ill-informed "let's jump on the liberal bandwagon and be hip and PC" opinions and doing not much else is not onlly pathetic but doesn't help anyone. Susan Sarandon, when was the last time you did something tangible to help the victims of the "republican conspiracies" you've so nobly identified?

It's the same issue I have with liberal yuppieland really - talk is cheap. Do something if you want to make a difference. Nobody here ever does. Regardless of Kathy's motives, there's a very positive end: some little kid may be getting a chance to live HIV-free and see their 44th birthday.

Best ever excuse to get off the phone....

"I gotta run, it's time for me to inject mice with dengue."

Only a viral pathologist could pull this one off.

I think this transcends pringles cans, bees, EGs, pissing on CDs, and football guys waving at us.